Cultivating a Sense of Proportion

For some people, a primary goal in life is to enjoy its treasures, such as beauty, goodness, harmony, and wisdom. These qualities have balance and symmetry and show little or no trace of excess.  If they are tainted by extremes or become disproportionate, they acquire opposite characteristics; for example, when distorted, beauty turns to ugliness, goodness to evil, harmony to disharmony, and wisdom to folly. Cultivating a fine sense of proportion in our thoughts and deeds is key to attaining a dazzling mind. This way of thinking provides us rich insights and perfects our judgement.

Balance and proportion are found abundantly in nature. Notice the beautiful geometrical patterns of snowflakes or the majestic display of colors in a rainbow. The multi cellular pattern of a honeycomb and the intricate design of a maple leaf also show symmetry in nature. Over the centuries, artists have embodied this symmetry into their works by freely imitating patterns found in nature.

Let Compassion Prevail

The more I reflect, the more I am convinced that life is a mystery. Today, thousand of  babies will be born and thousands will die. From where have these babies come and where have these people gone? The music of Mozart enchants us and the writings of Shakespeare fascinate us. But where have they gone? Still more pertinent is the question, “Where are we going?” Is there a life after death, and will our good deeds ever be rewarded?

There are no clear answers to these questions except through religion based on faith. People devoutly search for meaning through diverse religious traditions, but they are seldom fully satisfied. These traditions do not offer a genuine dialog on the purpose of life in a true ecumenical spirit. The various groups remain largely compartmentalised.

What is most needed  today is compassion to understand the deep spiritual crises facing people. Much of our restlessness, even in the midst of plenty, is rooted in this spiritual crisis, and we need to lot of compassion to address it.

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One eminent thinker who wrestled with this spiritual crisis was Johann Goethe, the nineteenth-century German philosopher. He spent most of his life, from age twenty-five until about seventy-five, pondering the purpose of life. His ideas are reflected in his masterpiece, Doctor Faust. Goethe claimed that the purpose of life lies in the meanings we attach to life. The pursuit of power or pleasure, or the practice of virtue will dictate the type of life we lead. Life is like a journey, and we must do our best to get the utmost out of our brief sojourn on earth. During this journey, let compassion prevail.

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Expecting the Unexpected

I find that my life is full of surprises. They make life more interesting and also more difficult.

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “Life is a series of surprises.” It is therefore wise to leave a wide margin for shocks and surprises. By doing so we may, to some degree, cushion ourselves from the pain of sudden contingencies. While it is impossible to fully anticipate the future, sound preparations must be made to confront unforeseen circumstances. A good example would be to buy full medical coverage for traveling abroad or to keep a special fund to rely on during emergencies. Sometimes when luck smiles on us, we should be ready to seize it – for example, opportunities to make handsome profits in the stock market. Norman Cousins wrote, “Wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences.”

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It is prudent to take ample safeguards against the unpredictability of people. Whether they are friends, associates, or even family members, we cannot always be sure that they will act in a way we expect. To avoid disappointments, we should learn to cope with the fickleness and erratic nature of some people.

Many time what we anticipate may not occur, and what we least expect may occur.

The behaviour of people often surprises me. People are generally not as good or bad as they first appear. Coping with this unpredictability, for me, is a major challenge.  What do you do with those who renege on their word, for instance? On way I found to tolerate such behaviour is to realize that I have also been, at times, unpredictable.

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The Eight-fold Noble Path

From his origins in India, Gautama Buddha’s message of sublime hope has inspired billions of people for more than 2,000 years. To Buddha, one of the realities of life was suffering. An escape from this plight was possible by adopting an enlightened attitude, one of which was the doctrine of impermanence. Everything in the world is changing. Nothing is permanent; eventually, all things pass away.

What seems to be the stability of appearances is really an illusion. Buddha referred to the state of things not a “being” but as “becoming,” a constant shifting and rearrangement of the parts. Wisdom lies in our ability to cope with impermanence. We must learn to remain calm and serene in the midst of a changing world. One way to achieve this is through the practice of universal compassion. Buddha described it as a form of loving-kindness that extends to all human beings without distinction. This kindness offers comfort to all humanity because suffering is their common lot. We must nurture it and allow it to fill the soul until re reach a state of inner bliss called “nirvana” or “nibbana.” According to Buddha, this is the ultimate purpose of life.

We should strive t achieve inner serenity through the eight-fold noble path as suggested by Buddha. The eight elements of the path are:

1.      Right thinking

2.      Right ideas

3.      Right desire

4.      Right language

5.      Right attitude

6.      Right effort

7.      Right action

8.      Right livelihood

We must first engage in “right thinking.’ If we champion a noble cause, we also become noble-minded. Right thinking gives us the right ideas and desires, and together they will help us engage in right actions. To engage in right thinking means to reflect about life through a process of regular meditation. Great are the rewards for those who practice it faithfully. The promising thing is that everyone is able to meditate because it is so simple and natural.

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Through right thinking, the mind generates right ideas, like a capacity to distinguish between good and evil. Sublime thoughts make a sublime person and are a key to enjoying inner peace. To Buddha, we are made of something more than just flesh and blood. We are what we think. The essence of a person is the way he thinks and the ideas he holds, which determine his personality entirely. Basically, different ideas are what distinguish people from one another, not physical attributes, People who possess noble ideas will display noble characters.

Right desires emanate from intense reflection. The golden rule according to Buddha is to be moderate in all our desires; the constant craving within us must be contained. One way to do it is through acts of generosity. Right language lies in abstaining from lying, abusive words, and idle chatter. A right attitude is essential for a true understanding of life. One should, to a fair degree, make a right effort, that is exert oneself to achieve fruitful results.

Right action is the end result of practising the above three steps. In essence, it leads to a life of universal compassion. It is important to know what is right and to do what is right.

Finally, for right livelihood, earn your living thorough honest means.

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Something to Live For

I have discovered that finding meaning to life enhancing the quality of life.

A humorist remarked that a man’s wealth might be superior to the man. The wealth is important because if frees us from the fear of want, which perhaps the greatest freedom we can enjoy. It is now possible for millions to enjoy this freedom that was denied in earlier times. To attain a high standard of living is a legitimate aspiration. After all, life is short, so why not enjoy it with lots of material possessions?

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When our interests are broad and we are genuinely concerned bout others, our inner satisfaction is enhanced and so is our sense of serenity.  When our interests are narrow, we tend to become apathetic, and this sense of apathy weakens sensitivity.  An extreme example of apathy is found among hardened criminals. They are failures in life because they completely lack any social values.

A Tamil proverb states that if you cherish an orphan child, then your own child will prosper. A relevant question to ask is whether the accumulation of riches is sufficient to provide us with enduring happiness. Is the road to riches alone a sure way to attain inner peace and calm? Impressive evidence suggests that we do need meaningful, non-material, altruistic factors to guarantee our happiness.  We require something to live for – a commitment to a worthy cause to which we can devote our energies. We need to be stirred by some idealism to escape from the narrow confines of our own interests.

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An Ancient Formula for Modern Times

The world is full of formulas ranging from suggestions for good health and achieving success in life.  Here is in my opinion one such formula for happiness.

The ancient Greek philosopher Epictetus presented a different perspective. His formula for inner contentment placed a higher priority on goals that are realistic and attainable and a lesser priority on goals that are unrealistic and more difficult to achieve. He did not rule out the latter, but emphasized pursuit of the former. In today’s parlance, Epictetus would say that it is good to have dreams, but our feet must be firmly planted on the ground. Thus, a desire to be an artist is a realistic goal, but a desire to be an overnight success is unrealistic.

We can also view the practical wisdom of Epictetus as a balance between needs and wants. Needs refer to our basic requirements for food, clothing, and shelter, which we must satisfy for our survival. Wants refer to our fancied desires, where satisfaction is not crucial, though we may consider it so. Bread is a need, but venison and wine are wants. Water is a need, but champagne is a want. A warm coat is a need, but a mink is a want. Actually, only a mink needs a mink.

What is note worthy about this formula is that it is provoking. 

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How to Fall in Love with Life

The following is the Prologue of

A Book of Wisdom and Delight: How to Fall in Love with Life

By James Nicholas

Life is wonderful, though at times it can be hard. In the heart of existence, there is much sweetness to be enjoyed, even in the midst of suffering.  Life is also a gift, and how fortunate we are to be living on this incredibly beautiful planet, to behold the infinite diversity of nature. True, we must cope with humid days and freezing nights, but how marvellous it is to observe flowers blooming, fruits ripening, birds singing, and starts twinkling.

Sometimes nature is harsh and cruel. Earthquakes, hurricanes, and volcanoes sometimes strike us with intense fury, causing havoc and immense suffering. While accepting the reality of natural disasters, we must learn to cope with them and not live in fear. We need to be optimistic, because pessimism is a waste of energy.

Nevertheless, nature has inspired me to write this book.  I stand in awe at the beautiful balances that pervade it, such as the blended colors of the rainbow and the symmetrical shapes of flowers. From nature we can learn to be like the oak, standing strong against any tempest, or be flexible like the willow, bending gently before any wind.

This work attempts to truly reflect its title as A Book of Wisdom and Delight: How to Fall in Love with Life.  You are invited to treat this book like a friendly companion, to make you hopeful when disappointed and cheerful when disheartened. Embodied within these pages are profound ideas of eminent writers that are expressed in simple terms.  By reflecting upon their ideas, we can have a “conversation” with them.  The book offers challenging but easy reading. It draws enriching ideas from philosophy, psychology, and literature from the East and the West. The thoughts of modern writers intertwine with those of the classics, along with my own reflections. I have quoted other authors profusely only to better express myself.

The principal aim of this book is to present you with flashes of wisdom and moments of delight. These sentiments together serve as a refrain that echoes throughout the book.  The golden chain that links all chapters together is the belief that the essence of wisdom lies in both balance and proportion. This golden chain starts in Chapter 1, “Enjoy Inner Peace and Calm,” which explains that a good inner life enables us to cope better with irritants of our outer life. Inner contentment comes from reconciling our many conflicting desires. We need to harmonize our tendencies to be selfless and selfish, grateful and ungrateful, loving and unloving.

In the second chapter, “Give Yourself a Dazzling Mind,” we explore how the mind excels when it displays a fine sense of balance and proportion. We discern that flowers are beautiful because the petals and colors form elegant patterns. A great work of music is enchanting because the notes are arranged in a concord of sweet sounds. By further enriching in our appreciation of balance and proportion, our minds can sparkle and shine.

What works for the mind can also work for the heart. Typically, we find rest among those we love and provide a resting place for those who love us. This balance in reciprocal relations hips is the gist of Chapter 3, "The Joys of Genuine Intimacy.” Impressive evidence reveals that when we are more loving in our relationships, we tend to be more joyous and creative. This state contributes to an overall feeling of personal fulfilment.

At a deeper level, sexual love is like a fire that is extinguished when satisfied. It is, therefore, essential to balance sexual love with tenderness and emotional intimacy.

In the fourth chapter, “Be Ever Young in Spirit,” I suggest that we balance the toll of passing years by renewing our youthful spirit. With a sense of adventure, wonder, and idealism, we may imagine being young at any age. This chapter also illustrates ways for us to lead a richer life and, in doing so, erase the scars of earlier times. As the fountain of youth is largely a state of mind, we could perennially remain young at heart.

Having a balanced life is a foundation from which we can achieve success. This is the principal point in Chapter 5, “A Blueprint for Success.” We can imitate the balance we find in nature in our daily efforts. Just as every crest in the ocean has an ebb, our daily life has ups and downs.  From the peak of success, we may slip into setbacks only to profit from them and rise again. A sense of perspective tells us that to achieve great success, we may have to pay a great price. We may also note that, while attaining success may be difficult, sustaining it could be even more so.

To know how to maximize our energy and minimize its loss is a sign of wisdom . These methods are presented in the sixth and final chapter, “Abundant Energy for Everyday Life.” We discus how the energy flowing into us should exceed the energy flowing out to maintain stability of mind and body.  In every moment of life, we have thought that either strengthen or weaken us. Fear and anger decrease our energy and may confine our thinking Love and joy increase our energy and may fuel our creative spirit.

All six chapters convey a common message but in different ways. Each one reveals thought to ponder on how we may lead the life we desire and deserve. Together, they are an invitation for you, the reader, to plant a tree of Wisdom and Delight and enjoy its growth all your life.

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