The Wisdom and Delight of the Desiderata

A Book of Wisdom and Delight can be summed up in the following edited version of Desiderata

Go placidly, amid the noise and haste and discover your peace in silence. Without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Be not cynical about love, for in the face of all apathy and harshness it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the thinks of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. Do not distress yourself with worries. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

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Control yourself, but also be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.

Whatever the labor and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul – with all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, wee still live in a beautiful world.

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Let Compassion Prevail

The more I reflect, the more I am convinced that life is a mystery. Today, thousand of  babies will be born and thousands will die. From where have these babies come and where have these people gone? The music of Mozart enchants us and the writings of Shakespeare fascinate us. But where have they gone? Still more pertinent is the question, “Where are we going?” Is there a life after death, and will our good deeds ever be rewarded?

There are no clear answers to these questions except through religion based on faith. People devoutly search for meaning through diverse religious traditions, but they are seldom fully satisfied. These traditions do not offer a genuine dialog on the purpose of life in a true ecumenical spirit. The various groups remain largely compartmentalised.

What is most needed  today is compassion to understand the deep spiritual crises facing people. Much of our restlessness, even in the midst of plenty, is rooted in this spiritual crisis, and we need to lot of compassion to address it.

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One eminent thinker who wrestled with this spiritual crisis was Johann Goethe, the nineteenth-century German philosopher. He spent most of his life, from age twenty-five until about seventy-five, pondering the purpose of life. His ideas are reflected in his masterpiece, Doctor Faust. Goethe claimed that the purpose of life lies in the meanings we attach to life. The pursuit of power or pleasure, or the practice of virtue will dictate the type of life we lead. Life is like a journey, and we must do our best to get the utmost out of our brief sojourn on earth. During this journey, let compassion prevail.

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Be Magnanimous

To be magnanimous is to show extraordinary generosity. This is a rare virtue about which we do not hear too much. 

To Aristotle, the most important and most beautiful of all virtues was magnanimity. While it is good to love and care for others, magnanimity does something superior. It seeks to increase our resources in order to enhance our capacity to be more generous.

Possessing a magnanimous spirit is a definition of a noble and virtuous character. Why is magnanimity such a magnificent virtue? Aristotle argued that it embraces a host of other virtues. If we are magnanimous, we also display towards our fellow human beings an attitude of respect, goodwill, kindness, gentleness , and, above all, forgiveness.

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Charles-Louis de Secondat, Baron de Montesquieu, the eighteenth-century French philosopher, wrote that when people are kind and sensitive, they are more likely to be happy, particularly when this happiness is shared.

The “Toronto Appeal,” a manifesto written by the author in 1992 and signed by four Nobel Prize winners, stated the followin: “In today’s world, let the hungry child in Kabul become your child in spirit. Let the poor widow in Sri Lanka become your sister in spirit. Let a hundred flowers bloom within your heart.”

A magnanimous spirit opens a passage to inner harmony. An East Indian proverb advocates “if we are truly generous, we can also be truly wise” and that kindness is the greatest wisdom.

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Expecting the Unexpected

I find that my life is full of surprises. They make life more interesting and also more difficult.

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “Life is a series of surprises.” It is therefore wise to leave a wide margin for shocks and surprises. By doing so we may, to some degree, cushion ourselves from the pain of sudden contingencies. While it is impossible to fully anticipate the future, sound preparations must be made to confront unforeseen circumstances. A good example would be to buy full medical coverage for traveling abroad or to keep a special fund to rely on during emergencies. Sometimes when luck smiles on us, we should be ready to seize it – for example, opportunities to make handsome profits in the stock market. Norman Cousins wrote, “Wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences.”

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It is prudent to take ample safeguards against the unpredictability of people. Whether they are friends, associates, or even family members, we cannot always be sure that they will act in a way we expect. To avoid disappointments, we should learn to cope with the fickleness and erratic nature of some people.

Many time what we anticipate may not occur, and what we least expect may occur.

The behaviour of people often surprises me. People are generally not as good or bad as they first appear. Coping with this unpredictability, for me, is a major challenge.  What do you do with those who renege on their word, for instance? On way I found to tolerate such behaviour is to realize that I have also been, at times, unpredictable.

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Coping with Change

In my life I am constantly battling with change.  Some of it comes easy when I meet pleasant people.  Some of it not so easy when I meet unpleasant people.

Change is dynamic.  As Comtesse Diane wrote, “There is often a greater contrast between the same person at two different ages, than between two people of the same age.”

Change is the law of life and is inevitable. Immediately after we are born we experience abrupt change, adjusting ourselves from the cosy comfort of our mother’s body to this world. From the newborn’s perspective, breathing for the first time is a major achievement. This is why the obstetrician give him a pat on the back to stir him to breath on his own.

From the womb to the tomb there is no escape from change. We need to accept it not as an unfair condition but as an opportunity to move forward. Yet we fear change because we realize we are vulnerable. We seek security to protect all that is predictable and dependable in our lives. We can never fully control change, but we must learn to cope with it. Here are two techniques to help us adjust to change.

Accept the reality of change

Understanding the nature of change, particularly its pattern and direction, will enable us to react to it better.  Physically speaking, all things at all time are in the process of becoming something else.  Nothing in the world remains the same. Liquid water is constantly changing either to vapor or ice.

We begin to die the moment we are born, and this law applies to all living things. The ancient Greek thinker Heraclitus wrote, “No man can step into the same river twice.” The river is constantly flowing, and the waters that touched a man now are not the same waters that touched him a minute ago. Change is reality and reality is change.  Accepting this truth enables us to adapt to it gracefully.

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Observe subtle change

While change is constant, it remains imperceptible to us. Over time an innocent child may turn out to be a troublesome teenager, or a loving couple may gradually drift apart.  These changes occur slowly, but we notice them only when they reach a critical point.  Changes that cause decline in health may occur in a subtle manner and escape our attention until one day we are shocked to hear about some ailment.  Positive changes also may occur in a subtle manner.  We may not quite appreciate how a once unkind person has been transformed into a kind-hearted individual.

Just like changing seasons, changes are gradual.  As seen in the growth of plants, the transformation from seed to sapling to mature plant is a procession.  With slow and deliberate purpose, the seed morphs. Time-lapse photography captures this process very well.

Perception plays an important role in change. After the Indian Ocean tsunami tragedy in late 2004, I found myself being fearful of the ocean. The ocean itself has not changed, but my perception of it has changed. At one time I found the ocean soothing and healing, but now I find it relentless and unforgiving.

Both time and perception are pivotal in coping with change. While time does help to heal some of the negative effects of change, perception must be included to fully complete the cycle of change. If you keep an open mind and learn new coping strategies, your brain forms new pathways that help manage the turbulent effects of change.

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The Eight-fold Noble Path

From his origins in India, Gautama Buddha’s message of sublime hope has inspired billions of people for more than 2,000 years. To Buddha, one of the realities of life was suffering. An escape from this plight was possible by adopting an enlightened attitude, one of which was the doctrine of impermanence. Everything in the world is changing. Nothing is permanent; eventually, all things pass away.

What seems to be the stability of appearances is really an illusion. Buddha referred to the state of things not a “being” but as “becoming,” a constant shifting and rearrangement of the parts. Wisdom lies in our ability to cope with impermanence. We must learn to remain calm and serene in the midst of a changing world. One way to achieve this is through the practice of universal compassion. Buddha described it as a form of loving-kindness that extends to all human beings without distinction. This kindness offers comfort to all humanity because suffering is their common lot. We must nurture it and allow it to fill the soul until re reach a state of inner bliss called “nirvana” or “nibbana.” According to Buddha, this is the ultimate purpose of life.

We should strive t achieve inner serenity through the eight-fold noble path as suggested by Buddha. The eight elements of the path are:

1.      Right thinking

2.      Right ideas

3.      Right desire

4.      Right language

5.      Right attitude

6.      Right effort

7.      Right action

8.      Right livelihood

We must first engage in “right thinking.’ If we champion a noble cause, we also become noble-minded. Right thinking gives us the right ideas and desires, and together they will help us engage in right actions. To engage in right thinking means to reflect about life through a process of regular meditation. Great are the rewards for those who practice it faithfully. The promising thing is that everyone is able to meditate because it is so simple and natural.

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Through right thinking, the mind generates right ideas, like a capacity to distinguish between good and evil. Sublime thoughts make a sublime person and are a key to enjoying inner peace. To Buddha, we are made of something more than just flesh and blood. We are what we think. The essence of a person is the way he thinks and the ideas he holds, which determine his personality entirely. Basically, different ideas are what distinguish people from one another, not physical attributes, People who possess noble ideas will display noble characters.

Right desires emanate from intense reflection. The golden rule according to Buddha is to be moderate in all our desires; the constant craving within us must be contained. One way to do it is through acts of generosity. Right language lies in abstaining from lying, abusive words, and idle chatter. A right attitude is essential for a true understanding of life. One should, to a fair degree, make a right effort, that is exert oneself to achieve fruitful results.

Right action is the end result of practising the above three steps. In essence, it leads to a life of universal compassion. It is important to know what is right and to do what is right.

Finally, for right livelihood, earn your living thorough honest means.

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From Loneliness to Togetherness

Every human being experiences some form of loneliness at some stage in their life.  I have experienced my due share of loneliness. 

“Water, water, everywhere, nor any drop to drink,” cried the Ancient Mariner when he was shipwrecked on the high seas.  Though the cry sounds chilling, they are only words contained in a poem written by Samuel Taylor Coleridge.

In today’s troubled world, many an anguished person seems to be crying, like the Ancient Mariner, “I see people, people everywhere, but not one to be my soul mate.” It is a paradox of life that we could be lonely in a crowded world and that those people who are near to us may not be dear to us.

To a lonely heart, even a candle is company in a dark room. 

Loneliness is an obstacle to serenity.  Normal problems appear aggravated when we are lonely.  We tend to be more fearful and less cheerful, more withdrawn, and less social.

Actually, no mirror can reflect a lonely heart.

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It is a fact of life that others will not fully understand the “real you.”  It requires wisdom to realize that when we are right, name many people remember, but when we are wrong, few people forget.

We usually judge ourselves by our noble intentions, while other people judge us by our deeds.  We are really much better than what others think of us.

Combating loneliness is a key to serenity.  Certain measures deserve to be taken to escape from the doldrums and put us in a sublime mood.  A serene spirit comes to a person when he is at peace with his “inner life” and his “inner world.”  This world contains a person’s private thoughts, experiences, desires, fears and feelings.  It is a world that is very personal and real to him.  A good example of serenity is found in the story of Job in the bible.  When buffeted by a whole range of calamities, Job remained calm and tranquil.  He said to his detractors, “Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away.”

The secret to serenity lies in our ability to share our inner world with another person or a few selected people.  When this occurs, our heart is filled with gladness, leaving little room for loneliness.  As Pearl Buck wrote, “The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart.  His mind shrinks away if he hears the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.”

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Turn Fears to Hope

I often experience fear. Some of it is quite unjustified.  A sense of hope lifts me out of fear.

“The rose if fairest when it is budding new, hope is brightest when it dawns from fear,” wrote Walter Scott.  Similarly, U.S. President John Kennedy said in one of his inspiring addresses, “Hope shine brightly when it rises out of fear.” Whereas fear causes fatique and undermines out inner tranquility, hope gives us energy and strengthens us.

Fear is a universal emotion and manifests itself in many forms when our security is threatened.  Fear comes from uncertainty, and life itself is full of uncertainties.

Hope is a universal felling of optimism that diminishes our fears. When we are fearful of a harsh winter, hope for the coming spring, with blossoms of red, green and yellow, cheers us. When we are fearful of the future, hope provides us a vision of brighter days to come. As Ovid wrote, “our hopes are not always realistic but we must always have hope.”

Fear disturbs our inner tranquillity because it exaggerates nonexistent dangers. When one I afraid and alone in the jungle, a bush might appear like a bear and anything that rustles may cause panic.  Many of our fears are irrational.  As Samuel Taylor Coleridge wrote, “what begins in fear usually ends in folly.”  Rollo May cautioned that when people are fearsome, they become rigid in their thinking.

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It is advantageous to be cheerful because misfortunes hardest to bear ar e those that never occurred.  A hopeful attitude is therefore soothing to the heart.  It elevates our spirits and helps us enjoy inner tranquillity.  Hope is a natural human feeling.  We look forward to a clear day though the morning is misty, and we plant perennials expecting them to flower again.  Even in a desolate place, stars still shine.  The Talmud suggests that we should hope for a miracle but not count on it.

It is best to hope for things that are possible and probable. Expecting a lovely baby is a realistic hope.  Expecting to win a lottery is an unrealistic hope.  We need hope particularly during difficult times when the whole world appears chaotic.  We need hope during sickness because impressive evidence reveals that it speeds recover.

Hope helps us to enjoy inner peace and calm; it also provides us flashes of wisdom and moments of delight.  Let us also remember that is it always morning somewhere in the world.

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A Crown is No Cure for a Headache

The above title is the possible path to being a finer person.  Imagine wearing a crown of diamonds, emeralds, and sapphires.  The crown symbolizes much of what this world has to offer: fame, wealth, and power. Through history, there has always been an intense competition to pursuer these three goals, even if it meant trampling on the toes of others.  Although highly sought after, the crown has definite limits. It cannot do for you what a simple aspirin can do; it is incapable of curing your headache.

Still, the wish to possess goods is a powerful urge.  It stems from the fear of being denied our necessities, and hence a quest for unlimited security.

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This point is illustrated in the story of two children who stole food to avert the pangs of hunger.  Despite being subsequently rescued and fed, they brazenly continued to steal food.  Memories of constant hunger had made a lasting imprint that they couldn’t overcome.

Similarly, a question to ponder is why some millionaires, having suffered poverty during their childhood, spend their adult lives aggressively accumulating even more wealth.  Part of the answer lies in a never-ending acquisitive urge and another in the fact that a crown is no cure for a headache.  In other words, we need spiritual values to sustain us with lasting satisfaction in a materialistic world.

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To Thy Own Self Be Kind

Some reflection and experience has taught me that the challenge facing us all is how to be loving to ourselves, without being selfish.

“Full wise is he that can himself knoweth” Geoffrey Chaucer

We should never be too harsh on ourselves, like the cynic who wrote that he had more trouble with himself than with any other person.  It is best to measure ourselves by our best moments and not by our worst.

We can further enhance inner contentment by being gracious to ourselves.  A courageous admission of our mistakes helps us redress them. With a courageous spirit, we must avoid too much regret over our mistakes and too much remorse over our wrongs.  In a constructive way, we could profit from our mistakes and compensate for out wrongs, provided that they are not too serious. In this way, we regain our peace of mind. We would do well to remember the words of Eric Hoffer that “Many of the insights of the saint stem from his experience as a sinner.”

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The thought is comforting that we are not alone in being imperfect. All human beings are imperfect. We are, to various degrees, fair and unfair, wish and unwise, sane and insane, so much so that no two people are alike. Herman Melville beautifully expressed this idea in his description of rainbows. He wrote that the line where the red tint ends and where the orange tint begins is really not a definitive line.  We see the difference of colors, but where exactly does the first one blend into the other?  So it is with sanity and insanity.  There is no clear dividing line separating the two states.

A guide to our thinking is to listen to our “inner voice.”  What is yours saying to you?

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Something to Live For

I have discovered that finding meaning to life enhancing the quality of life.

A humorist remarked that a man’s wealth might be superior to the man. The wealth is important because if frees us from the fear of want, which perhaps the greatest freedom we can enjoy. It is now possible for millions to enjoy this freedom that was denied in earlier times. To attain a high standard of living is a legitimate aspiration. After all, life is short, so why not enjoy it with lots of material possessions?

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When our interests are broad and we are genuinely concerned bout others, our inner satisfaction is enhanced and so is our sense of serenity.  When our interests are narrow, we tend to become apathetic, and this sense of apathy weakens sensitivity.  An extreme example of apathy is found among hardened criminals. They are failures in life because they completely lack any social values.

A Tamil proverb states that if you cherish an orphan child, then your own child will prosper. A relevant question to ask is whether the accumulation of riches is sufficient to provide us with enduring happiness. Is the road to riches alone a sure way to attain inner peace and calm? Impressive evidence suggests that we do need meaningful, non-material, altruistic factors to guarantee our happiness.  We require something to live for – a commitment to a worthy cause to which we can devote our energies. We need to be stirred by some idealism to escape from the narrow confines of our own interests.

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An Ancient Formula for Modern Times

The world is full of formulas ranging from suggestions for good health and achieving success in life.  Here is in my opinion one such formula for happiness.

The ancient Greek philosopher Epictetus presented a different perspective. His formula for inner contentment placed a higher priority on goals that are realistic and attainable and a lesser priority on goals that are unrealistic and more difficult to achieve. He did not rule out the latter, but emphasized pursuit of the former. In today’s parlance, Epictetus would say that it is good to have dreams, but our feet must be firmly planted on the ground. Thus, a desire to be an artist is a realistic goal, but a desire to be an overnight success is unrealistic.

We can also view the practical wisdom of Epictetus as a balance between needs and wants. Needs refer to our basic requirements for food, clothing, and shelter, which we must satisfy for our survival. Wants refer to our fancied desires, where satisfaction is not crucial, though we may consider it so. Bread is a need, but venison and wine are wants. Water is a need, but champagne is a want. A warm coat is a need, but a mink is a want. Actually, only a mink needs a mink.

What is note worthy about this formula is that it is provoking. 

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How to Fall in Love with Life

The following is the Prologue of

A Book of Wisdom and Delight: How to Fall in Love with Life

By James Nicholas

Life is wonderful, though at times it can be hard. In the heart of existence, there is much sweetness to be enjoyed, even in the midst of suffering.  Life is also a gift, and how fortunate we are to be living on this incredibly beautiful planet, to behold the infinite diversity of nature. True, we must cope with humid days and freezing nights, but how marvellous it is to observe flowers blooming, fruits ripening, birds singing, and starts twinkling.

Sometimes nature is harsh and cruel. Earthquakes, hurricanes, and volcanoes sometimes strike us with intense fury, causing havoc and immense suffering. While accepting the reality of natural disasters, we must learn to cope with them and not live in fear. We need to be optimistic, because pessimism is a waste of energy.

Nevertheless, nature has inspired me to write this book.  I stand in awe at the beautiful balances that pervade it, such as the blended colors of the rainbow and the symmetrical shapes of flowers. From nature we can learn to be like the oak, standing strong against any tempest, or be flexible like the willow, bending gently before any wind.

This work attempts to truly reflect its title as A Book of Wisdom and Delight: How to Fall in Love with Life.  You are invited to treat this book like a friendly companion, to make you hopeful when disappointed and cheerful when disheartened. Embodied within these pages are profound ideas of eminent writers that are expressed in simple terms.  By reflecting upon their ideas, we can have a “conversation” with them.  The book offers challenging but easy reading. It draws enriching ideas from philosophy, psychology, and literature from the East and the West. The thoughts of modern writers intertwine with those of the classics, along with my own reflections. I have quoted other authors profusely only to better express myself.

The principal aim of this book is to present you with flashes of wisdom and moments of delight. These sentiments together serve as a refrain that echoes throughout the book.  The golden chain that links all chapters together is the belief that the essence of wisdom lies in both balance and proportion. This golden chain starts in Chapter 1, “Enjoy Inner Peace and Calm,” which explains that a good inner life enables us to cope better with irritants of our outer life. Inner contentment comes from reconciling our many conflicting desires. We need to harmonize our tendencies to be selfless and selfish, grateful and ungrateful, loving and unloving.

In the second chapter, “Give Yourself a Dazzling Mind,” we explore how the mind excels when it displays a fine sense of balance and proportion. We discern that flowers are beautiful because the petals and colors form elegant patterns. A great work of music is enchanting because the notes are arranged in a concord of sweet sounds. By further enriching in our appreciation of balance and proportion, our minds can sparkle and shine.

What works for the mind can also work for the heart. Typically, we find rest among those we love and provide a resting place for those who love us. This balance in reciprocal relations hips is the gist of Chapter 3, "The Joys of Genuine Intimacy.” Impressive evidence reveals that when we are more loving in our relationships, we tend to be more joyous and creative. This state contributes to an overall feeling of personal fulfilment.

At a deeper level, sexual love is like a fire that is extinguished when satisfied. It is, therefore, essential to balance sexual love with tenderness and emotional intimacy.

In the fourth chapter, “Be Ever Young in Spirit,” I suggest that we balance the toll of passing years by renewing our youthful spirit. With a sense of adventure, wonder, and idealism, we may imagine being young at any age. This chapter also illustrates ways for us to lead a richer life and, in doing so, erase the scars of earlier times. As the fountain of youth is largely a state of mind, we could perennially remain young at heart.

Having a balanced life is a foundation from which we can achieve success. This is the principal point in Chapter 5, “A Blueprint for Success.” We can imitate the balance we find in nature in our daily efforts. Just as every crest in the ocean has an ebb, our daily life has ups and downs.  From the peak of success, we may slip into setbacks only to profit from them and rise again. A sense of perspective tells us that to achieve great success, we may have to pay a great price. We may also note that, while attaining success may be difficult, sustaining it could be even more so.

To know how to maximize our energy and minimize its loss is a sign of wisdom . These methods are presented in the sixth and final chapter, “Abundant Energy for Everyday Life.” We discus how the energy flowing into us should exceed the energy flowing out to maintain stability of mind and body.  In every moment of life, we have thought that either strengthen or weaken us. Fear and anger decrease our energy and may confine our thinking Love and joy increase our energy and may fuel our creative spirit.

All six chapters convey a common message but in different ways. Each one reveals thought to ponder on how we may lead the life we desire and deserve. Together, they are an invitation for you, the reader, to plant a tree of Wisdom and Delight and enjoy its growth all your life.

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